What is abuse?

How to Change Your Current Situation

Power Yourself!

 

What is Abuse?

Dictionary.com - a·buse

• – verb (used with object)
  • to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority.
  • to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way..
  • to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.
  • to commit sexual assault upon.
  • Obsolete. to deceive or mislead.
• – noun
  • wrong or improper use; misuse: the abuse of privileges.
  • harshly or coarsely insulting language: The officer heaped abuse on his men.
  • bad or improper treatment; maltreatment: The child was subjected to cruel abuse.
  • a corrupt or improper practice or custom: the abuses of a totalitarian regime.
  • rape or sexual assault.
    

 

Adapted from www.Womenslaw.org

• DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: is a pattern of abusive behavior which keeps one partner in a position of power over the other partner through the use of fear, intimidation and control.

• PHYSICAL ABUSE: Grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc. Denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use.
• SEXUAL ABUSE: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, e.g., marital rape, forcing sex after physical beating, attacks on sexual parts of the body or treating another in a sexually demeaning manner.
• ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make a person financially dependent, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment.
• EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Undermining a person's sense of self-worth, e.g., constant criticism, belittling one's abilities, name calling, damaging a partner's relationship with the children.
• PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner or children, destruction of pets and property, mind games or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work.

 

As stated above, abuse comes in many different shapes and forms. Many times abuse is taken place without you even knowing it. And other times, when abuse is taken place, you may not even know what to do in stopping it.

The Charts, Statistics, and Articles below will explain to you more about the various types of abuse from your spouse and society. By understanding these charts, the knowledge you will gain, will help you overcome your abuse!

CLICK ON THE BLUE TITLES TO OPEN THE CHARTS AND ARTICLES. ADOBE ACROBAT READER IS NEEDED IN READING THESE CHARTS & ARTICLES. IF YOU NEED ADOBE ACROBAT READER, CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD.

 

• CHART: Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship
• STATISTICS: of Abusive Relationship

• CHART: Power & Control Chart

• CHART: The Cycle of Abuse Chart

• CHART: "The Realtionship is driven by"

• CHART: Community Accountability Wheel
  • Men Will
  • Media Will
  • Clergy Will
  • Education System Will
  • Justice System Will
  • Employers Will
  • Government WillS
  • Social Service Providers Will

• CHART: Physical & Behavioral Indicators of Child Abuse & Neglect
  • Physical Abuse
  • Physical Neglect
  • Sexual Abuse
  • Emotional Maltreatment

• ARTICLE: Invisibility is an Unnatural Diaster; Reflections of an Asian American Woman, By Mitsuye Yamada

 

AM I BEING ABUSED?
CHECKLIST
(provided by National Coalition Against Domestic Violence,
Adapated from www.Womenslaw.org)

Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.

Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you aren't ready for?
____ Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?

Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with you partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?

If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.

(Adapted from Reading and Teaching Teens to Stop Violence, Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition, Lincoln, NE).

NOTE: ALL MATERIALS HAVE BEEN RESEARCHED AND SOURCED.